Tears

When my mother denied me a robot car, when I went cycling to the end far,
when I felt hungry as a child, when I was hurt wandering in the wild,
when my teacher said I was bad, when I forgot to take my exam pad,
every time you were there, on my cheeks none to spare.

When I forgot to do my homework, when my room could no longer perk,
when my hero Rex would no more sniff, when I want to jump off that lonely cliff,
when I don't get the best in a test, when I don't get the perfect rest,
you tears well up my eyes again, you flood with anger diluted in pain.

When my crush crushed my little letter, when I know there's someone better,
when I read an emotional tale, when my laziness costs me the sale,
when my dad dwarfs me for Swat kats, when I miss my sister's pats,
there you lump in my throat, never moving like a sailless boat.

There is a I whence I knew, since did I know I hate you.
You come you teach me as I fail, why don't you freeze as if a hail.
You turn my shiny eyes red, you are ready as truth is to be said,
O tears please listen to me, don't make me a weak one to be.

Even today I tried to wash you off with water, but you were bound to make my cheeks hotter,
I was the one to say it as a poet, that tears and smiles make the life's duet,
but tears tears go away, let me have a content day,
tears tears go away, as in my bed I do lay.

Lessons

Well you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow

Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you’re missin' home...

What Passenger preaches through his song 'let her go' is more than love. It is philosophy. It is the lesson that you need to learn. The lesson that states that your life is moving on, you should be able to understand it, appreciate it, and learn from it. Back to the song, he says it's about the person you love, may be now, it's about the life you live.

Of such lessons I've learnt and my personal experiences, I shall not speak. The reason about such reluctance is the length and boredom to the reader concerned. But, I shall emphasise on how a college, with the life of a hosteller is different from a school life.

People of impeccable intellect are collected from around the country and poured into the institution. Especially in MANIT, the diversity is huge, and all such souls with flying dreams are poured into the hostel. Right from where you place your mobile in the room to the care you take about your keys is now dependent on what to others think about it. The first semester teaches you mostly this, how to adjust. Adjusting to situations, to people around you is something everyone learns. Every time this circle of influential People - classmates, roommates and concerned friends change, you nurture your adjustment to a better level. As a part of the process, by the end of graduation, you shall learn to adjust much better than 90% of your age who live in a room with a separate door. God bless such wisdom upon them.

The formalities to be completed before, during and after the course are way too high. One learns how to use a bank account, how to deal with the babus, alongside venting their frustration every single time they come across such situation. However, in due course of time, we get accustomed to the queues and meaningless procedures, yes, we are being prepared for the nominal governance of the nation and its procedures, where half of them shall forever remain worthless. Accompanying are the capabilities of visiting police stations and courts, nursing at hospitals and booking tickets through IRCTC.

Ragging is inevitable in colleges like MANIT. It is true that it is unhealthy and demoralising. But, given the long-time effects, it teaches you things that you would never learn. Guts get planted deep in you, you learn to face frustration that has got nothing to do with you, and to clearly understand who would stand by you in tough times and not. This ability to distinguish would have otherwise eaten 2 to 3 years of your precious college life alone. You also widen your circles and meet more people, understand what causes frustration and eventually keeping yourself away from it, but yes, ragging despite all this, isn't good. It’s cool... Who cares??

The tough times are in almost every way different, from when you are home. It would be very evident in the one call you get from your parents when you say "everything is fine" when it won't be. Every time you do that, during ragging, illness, accidents or emotional breakdown you are stepping a stone higher towards the real world. You are being independent and mature involuntarily. You are witnessing friends who are worth siblings, who are supporting you to an extent that you can handle things yourself. Such reasons are innumerable and such independence, immeasurable. You only see through it when it's all over, that you have learnt to be tough, to be better and to be clear about yourself.

In addition to this are joys and minor capabilities recorded, a few of them being: your irregular sleep cycles, malnutrition diets, laughing over your own problems, enticing humour over you, learning to overcome almost every physiological situations, the art of cooking and the skill of cooking things up, learning to waste time, learning to waste time in your interests, learning what interests you, pursuing things of your choice, detachments and attachments, night outs and day sleeps, bathing in weeks and staring at stars, listening to stories, fictitious or not, appreciating and firing back. Of all that you learn, one thing is sure, you are learning life.

Accredited to 'happy days' are words that summarize all I said in a pair of lines, “you don't come to college to achieve life. You come to develop the skills and attitude to learn to achieve it."


P. S. I am delighted I wrote so much without my personal life or tears. A blog post would be too small to write the things that aren't either generalized or are personal. Everyone would have their dose of farewell soon after the 6th of May. :-P get ready with your tissues.

Needless

The witch has shaken the potion thrice, bowing to the prince who paid the price.
The prince had walked under the sky, as the countless stars twinkled by.
Half the way he paced to pause, to look at how the sparkle was.
The cork tipped and rolled down the mire, and the magic did the lone prince hire.

His body shackled as if to die, he would have if it wasn't the firefly.
The buzz and light had disturbed his sleep, and into the new world did he creep.
The forest thickened through his rest, and his sight was put to test.
The path was the same mire over the lake, but with tar like cream over a cake.

Men who were clad like butlers all over, bound in speeding steels did hover,
To and fro along the mire, in a way the prince did admire.
The steel carts had lights in the front, which never flickered as they went.
The prince headed back towards the palace, jumping to the buzzes of the carts’ race.

The city had more houses and more light, which never flickered and burnt bright.
The prince made way as people stared, and honked and foul words twice they shared.
The palace he entered where none was same, his family was all now in the frame.
He ran in panic over the stairs, to the roof where his true self pairs.

Into a world that is awkward and new, into a world of lights in different hue,
Into a world that was scarily fast, only did his calm roof top last.
He lied down over the warm stone, and looked up to stars for he was alone.
To his surprise the count was halved, gone was ‘the Orion’ he always loved.

A tinge of orange did blur the sky, that of the lights that below him lie.
He wished to shout loud and clear, for of none should the prince fear.
The glory of the man seemed to fade, like the stars of ‘the long spade’,
All that sped and lit seemed useless, no not useless, needless, needless.

The prince closed his eyes and said his chant, "needless, needless, none to enchant.
O witch, O witch, O ditching witch, bless the magic to switch,
What is a sky without all the stars? A canvas whose artist died in the wars.

Needless, needless, needless is the light,
The light so bright in the darkest night,
That shall blemish the sky with scars,
That of the beautiful sparkling stars. "

Saying so his eyes closed the last time, and into another star did he sublime.

P. S.:  The 'needless' is a campaign that creates awareness about light pollution, prominently emphasising on the deterioration of the quality of the skies. For more, please visit http://www.need-less.org.uk/

The nerd glasses

"The wheat fields wave in the summer breeze, over the Caro Island in Greece, to the port is a stranded way, orange and rising from the Dumtak Bay. To my home it leads mate, on the hill of Bestinlate, come today and embrace us, far away from all your fuss. How does it sound, honey, to welcome your friend in my way?" Teo was speaking loud from the balcony where he rested in his armchair to Hana who was in the kitchen, mashing the boiled eggs.

Teo was 43, a writer with a grown beard who spent his days lazing on the island of Caro. Hana completed him, being a professional cook, and singing all day what she heard in the party previous night. The time when she would put on her long gowns and jasmines and stride down to the beach for wine in the dusk would be that when Teo would let his pen run on the white sheets. "She's coming to us in crisis Teo, don't you dare frighten her” Hana replied smiling as she carried the coffee pot to the balcony's table where Teo would always write. The brew was quickly vanishing in the breeze and the aroma filled the balcony. "Touch it before she comes and I'll push you into the Saturday night's harbour shake" she warned walking back to bake the bread. Teo wondered about how their kids would also be leading the hostel wings, given their mother's petty traits.

The doorbell chimed accompanied by the knock and Teo jumped out reaching for the door. As he pulled the door inside, there she stood, Sushi, her hair curled in a mess over her face, dusted, and her eyes, half closed. Her sleeplessness was painted dark below her eyes, her limbs drooped as she bent forward and her shirt wrinkled and folded up her sleeves. Hana walked out of the kitchen and welcomed Sushi in, pushing him aside, and took her to the couch in the balcony. Sushi lay down and held her palms against the brightness of the summer's hot sun bouncing the golden field. Her eyes crouched behind the lids and shrunk in light.

"Would you like to have a coffee?" Hana inquired already pouring into the cups. She took a cup to Sushi and waited for her to take it. Sushi regained her posture and drank the entire cup in a shot and fell back into Hana’s lap. She blabbered in a murmur, "It was not my fault him hell and principles. Selfish." Even before Teo could pose before her the questions of inquiry, her eyes closed into a deep sleep. Hana moulded her body straight and gestured, mouthing "quiet now and call me when she wakes." she walked back to her mash and Teo sat staring over into the far waters, where steamers sailed calmly, occasionally pumping their buzzing horns. There Sushi slept, her mouth wide open, as if gaping in serenity.

Two hours later, Sushi woke up to see Hana, staring, resting in Teo’s arm that curled up over her shoulder. Surprisingly, he was staring too. She sat up instantly and was searching for words to speak. "Hush sweet girl. Come let's have lunch and then sit to speak. No need to worry. Feel home. It is half past 3 and his tummy has been rapping since ages." Hana spoke, pointing to Teo, as if she could read her friend's mind. Sushi stood, and she wondered if there is any part of her body that was relaxed. She walked to the basin, washed her face and to the table where the couple were busy serving. She snatched a glass that was on the table, moist from the outside, and gulped the freezing cold water. She blinked long thrice and the scent of spices crept into her mind. The lunch was quick and heavy and not a word was uttered. Sushi ate the food, proper food, after a long time she felt. But not her buds knew any taste. All she could tell was that the food was good.

Hana suggested, "The tub is ready with warm water. Bathe long and be at rest. I have my purple gown for you. Call me in case you need me." Sushi stood up silently looking down into the circles of hell and walked in to the bath. She was different, Hana noticed from what she used to be. Earlier, she was a playful child who would always accompany Hana into every mischief. The difference was Sushi loved what she learnt and was always fascinated by the job she would do, and dreamed of enjoying an eminent position in the society whereas Hana loved to be quiet, yet naughty, dancing and singing and passing her life in herself.

The pleasant radio played blues that echoed in the house, as the couple regained their cuddling on the couch. It was an hour since lunch when Sushi returned to dress. She wore the gown and walked to the mirror and stared towards herself. Her wet hair was messed up, her eyes looked sleepless, her cheeks were pale, her hands were thin, and her frame bent. She picked the comb and walked directly to the couch. Sushi dropped it in Hana’s lap and sat on the floor right at Hana’s feet waving her to comb. Immediately, in care, Hana picked her up and made her rest in the arm chair and combed gently, drying her hair and curling it back clean. Sushi had closed her eyes, but still a drop managed to slip over her tender cheeks. Hana bent down and wiped it and inquired, "What’s it darling?" Teo calmly watched. Hana too sat down facing Sushi, her hands folded in confidence.

The sea behind her roared. Sushi spoke, after what she thought were ages or may be, seconds since the last moment of her life when she was at her office in Lika, 40 miles away from Caro by sea. What followed from there was memory vague, running to the port, calling her old dormant friend stopping by the street phone, stealing into the open cargo carrying coal, begging the sailor with the heavy moustache who was kind and running up the steep Bestinlate, her heels tearing apart. She spoke, "Hana, I am sorry for troubling you both like this.” Guilt echoed deep in her voice, as deep as from her heart. Hana spoke in the tone of an angel, her kindness consoling, and “We have been friends since childhood Sushi. You are always welcome here. Countless times I asked you to take a break and spend with us. It has dawned upon us today. Tell me first, what brings you here. What happened to you?” A teardrop already rolled on Sushi’s cheek, Teo noticed.

Sushi continued, “Today I was at the museum by 7. My work was perfect till yesterday. Perfect, Hana, as if I was everything I ever dreamed of. I had everything I wished for. A beautiful house that would look over the far sea, lots of people going around my exhibits and wondering at the marvels of ancient Greece. Everyone at the museum was so pleased with my work. I myself was, too. I walked, like every other day, today to the museum and went to my desk. As soon as I pulled up my chair, I noticed a new foolscap placed under my paperweight. It was not on the top but it was new I know. Even before I read it out, he came up to me, my boss, and pointed to me, a paper stamped ‘UNADDRESSED’ in red. I could notice that it was a copy of the same sheet I had in my hand. It was an invitation to France, I quickly ran my eyes through. I was being invited to work on their plans regarding the Bastille's underground. It would be a dream project to anyone who held a job like mine. If it went well, Hana, everyone in Europe would know our company. The name of Lika would have been heard far as Malaysia and Alaska. The deadline, highlighted in bold, was two weeks ago. I still wonder how it could have missed it. I never missed any before this, believe me, Teo, not a single piece.” Her last words were to Teo who was eyeing her suspiciously, or so she thought. Teo nodded, for he believed, and was curious.

Drawing a long breath, Sushi spoke, her voice more heavy, her eyes moist, “He ordered me angrily to address the board meeting by 8. I could not hear any of his words then, for I could see how furious he was, and how costly my untidiness had been. I was afraid for I would get fired. Indeed, Hana, I was more frightened about the fact that my life would be over, for the mistake would spread like fire on hay. Losing that deal was like forgetting to eat, Hana, will it ever happen?" Hana was keen and nodded in confirmation, that she understood what Sushi meant.

Sushi explained, “So, I slipped out calmly using the elevator before everyone knew, and as soon as I was on the road, I started running to the port. Midway, I was panting and about to faint, but I soon realized I didn’t know where I was headed to. All I could do was find the street phone beside me. So I reached for it and called you. And then, I ran again I didn’t know why, to the port, sneaked into the coal cargo instead of the ferry that would have started in ten minutes. I tell you, Hanna, the sailor pitied me looking at my helplessness and out of everything he asked, all I could say was Bestinlate. So, he dropped me on the shore and I was inquiring ‘Teo, writer, Hana’ around when they pointed me here.” Hana listened, as if it was an epic tale being told.

Teo, with some enthusiasm jumping out of his eyes, spoke, as if he was a kid being gifted a packet of toffees for opening his mouth, "Bastille I know. I received an invitation recently, from Bibliothèque nationale de France regarding an exhibit of the museum this month. Bruno invited me for I was keen to visit the royal hall for my research work. Is it a development after that period, Sushi?" Sushi, who was listening curiously since the start, with her expressions changing rapidly from desperation to fury, exclaimed, "What! I didn't know this. I should have known Maria, and believed when everyone whispered she seduced Antony. I need to go back." she turned back even as she spoke to trace back her morning journey.

She could have gone back, drooping and straining, unless Hana spoke, in the deepest of her thoughts, “Wait Sushi, think about it again. You work. You don't manipulate. You are the one who never got along with mates who hated you, cheated you behind your back. Remember Sushi, as I always say, you are a worker, brilliant and dedicated. But, someday you are to retire. You need to get away from all this fuss. You have worked a lot Sushi and the world needs you.” Hana sandwiched Sushi’s palm between hers’, as an assurance that she believed in Sushi’s work.

Hana explained, in a hurry that seemed to be out of the fear that Sushi would start going back, “Look at you. Look at the change in you, how limp your limbs seem, how tired your body is. Please, Sushi, stay here with us. There’s a big world out there to know the history. Stay, for I need you to." Hana broke down into tears, falling onto her knees and the balcony stayed calm. Teo could listen to a holiday commercial over the radio, as he looked at how both the ladies were kneeling, tears trickling along their cheeks.

That night, long after the dances at the beach, tired Hana retired to sleep. Teo was busy smoking his pot in the balcony, staring into the sea. Sushi tip-toed to the backyard, her mobile phone clutched in her hand.

P.S.: The characters have been inspired from the people I know, thanks to everyone so, in person. A few imaginary places, I have tried my best to describe, excuse at misconceptions. Also, I thank my editor, the old kid, for inspiring me to work. I have a sequel planned if this is good. Tell me, by any means, how you felt, if you could read upto here, please.

It so seemed

I, by my wit, tell the heart wrenching tale, of three such souls of diverse thought.
Tulip was free by thought, free as a content eagle, soaring high above the clouds that mask the blistering truth.
Bunny was dear, or so seemed, for deep inside were webs, woven of treachery and selfishness.
Rose was chaotic, appealing to the thirsty, seductive by sense, and desperate to be plucked.

As do waters merge to fall, into the deep abyss, roaring, so did bunny meet tulip, and was enchanted.
Bunny wanted love, or so seemed, of the divine waters, such of the tulip, for none hate purity, though many envy.
Tulip drowned, weighing into the bliss bunny had garnished, over his deepest trenches of desire, painful and malicious.
Thus, in the sweetest times, when bunny and tulip, fell in love, of Immaturity, and infatuation, the fragrant rose bloomed.

Rose bloomed, to be embraced, and glazed upon, by such fur, as of bunny, despite the rigid clutch.
Bunny ignored, or so seemed, for tulip and rose, in dawn or dusk, in spring or storm, bloomed, never together.
The tulip was in delight, as was every free heart ever, until the moon, rose in the East, red and full.
The day was of nature's summons, the rose was withering, the moon in bloody tears, for none knew why.

Bunny hopped, mesmerized, towards the drooping rose, to help the fragrance, last longer.
The drooping rose, or so seemed, was delighted to see, the bunny approach, to caress and care.
None knew but the rose, of the malice planned, for obsessive was her petals, soft as a velvet.
The tulip witnessed in silence, her petals wet, for bunny was her world, she believed in replica.

The red moon blossomed, the bunny felt the petal, soothing was the touch, healed was the rose.
The stars glittered, the redness wore off, but not one breeze, that passed the tulip, went dry.
The bunny loved the touch, rather obsessed, addicted, drugged by the pollen, that night.
On the edges, then deep inside, into the maze of rose's petals, bunny's fingers circled, into the mire.

The bunny still not knows, what treachery and malice, had he been deceived by.
The rose, evil and thirsty, now enjoys, what's not hers, truly, living a false life, a dream, that none knows, when may end.
The tulip cries, but never is soothed, calmed by breezes of sea, old and learnt.
None knows, or ever shall, how to rewrite the tale, for such have been penned, again, a ton times.

Celebrating the world's poetry day. May the magic in words of people around, those whose works provide deeper insights, with a tinge of humor, into the deepest meanings of life, and of those surrounding them last forever and more. And thanks to every such one in name around me, for all that you have unknowingly dumped on me, making me smile and feel blessed everytime I get to read something penned by you. CHEERS!!!! YOU MADE ME HAPPY SOME DAY!!!
In name, a very special thanks to rebeca for, without her, I couldn't keep the fire kindling, that made all this possible.