25 June 2015

Reflections

It's past 10 pm, lights racing past the tinted window of the bus, a shadow over the other side of the bus was speaking to me. I could hear it's voice, but inaudible it was.

It was not heard by the young girl, probably in her teens, sitting in a seat front of me, speaking over her phone. She was talking casually to her old friend, to whom she didn't talk for past two months, or so it seemed. She had a guy dump her recently. She says, "the guy who was with me two months ago, supporting me in every decision I took in my life, telling me I was beautiful did not stick to me when I said I cannot hold it. He just moved away saying, what's the point if you don't love me. And now, he does the exactly same affectionate thing to someone else. And ends up telling me that he's got into a relationship with her. He didn't have any fixed emotions." There was a touch of grief as she spoke the last sentence. I was listening intensely looking at the shadow. I could see her reflection look back to find an older guy, me, sitting behind her. She instantly pushes her strap under her pink top. The shadow said "Insecurity is a very strong defence. It makes you stronger, and less vulnerable. She is growing into reality. Turning from her fairytales. Gaze at her, make her stronger." I fix my gaze at her, expecting her to notice, but she's busy on the phone. I give up staring to watch around.

There was another lady, in her early twenties, may be. Clad in her black coat and skirt, over a white shirt, completely fit. She held her phone to her ear. Yes, she was on the phone too. I paid attention to her, eavesdropping is bad, but nevermind. She resigned to her job, and is moving to Singapore for higher studies. She was talking to her "baby" who was just asking questions to keep the conversation up. A why for a pause seemed his top trick to flirt. She says, "I am going to study Very large scale integration in my masters. Do you even know what it means. *pause* You used to call me a dumb blonde. See, I am not as dumb as you think I am. I'm even getting stipend and scholaships at NUS. *pause* I want to end working early, piling up dollars by 40, and getting into my swinging armchair by 50. *pause*" That eager shadow says, " look at her who studies for a settled life. People prefer higher studies to earn money. No one understands what it means. People plan as if life is their chess game. No one understands its more of a snake and ladders than it seems to be. Everyone thinks Steve Jobs is their role model and "connect the dots" is their only commandment. And that is why people don't want to live on this planet anymore.

The voice was inaudible to the third guy who sat on the last seat too. He was using headphones after all. The way he was making expressions on his phone confirmed the selfiesh addiction. All the world is losing its power of memory and time is the smoke of hash#tags. We are living fake lives.

We are turning education to be more about progress reports than progress. We are mistaking the dire need for support to be need for affection. We are creating lives wherein people look into the screen in their hand, wrapping a 800 metres building into 800 pixels and nothing more. The shadows stop speaking to us, because the screen is too bright.

Thanks for the eye-opener, Ash. You are the best critic I ever had.